I had my first real physical therapy appointment today.  And I LOVED it!!  As I mentioned in my last post, I’m having a lot of discomfort in my side and arm. Plus I was just scared that it was something serious.  But I had a great session with the therapist today and she said I’m doing really well!  She was great, her name is also Michelle and she’s 58 but honestly looks like she’s 45.  She is a 5 year breast cancer survivor and had a mastectomy, so it really helped to talk to her about everything.  She actually opted to not have reconstruction and just wears a prosthesis (which I’ll get myself soon from Nordstrom).

Anyway, she measured my range of motion and I actually have about 140 degrees of motion (as opposed to 180 in my left arm), so it’s not too bad at all.  We also talked about my “cording” (that weird band that’s running through my arm).  She said stretching and massage will get rid of it and I’ll actually feel it “snap” and break and might even hear it.  EWWWW!  But she said that doesn’t hurt, so that’s a relief.

I’ll be going to physical therapy twice a week for the foreseeable future.  They’ll do a bunch of exercises with me as well as massage.  As I get into chemo, they’ll also work on helping me manage my fatigue and even help with relaxation and meditation.

So I’m feeling really good today and so glad that Swedish has such a great program to help support my recovery.  Now I’m going to go enjoy the homemade granola and tamales that Gina Woods made me.  And also a shout out to Joy & Chuck for all the yummy goodies (and wine!) from Pasta & Co. last week. xoxo

There’s a good reason “sunshine” is part of the title of this blog.  The sunny weekend was absolutely wonderful and gave me a great dose of energy.  Turns out the vitamin D was needed because unfortunately I’m sick today.  Nothing serious, just a sore throat and sneezing.  But it’s enough to exhaust me.  Nap time will be a must.

You all know I try to stay positive at all times, but I’m also really struggling with the pain in my arm and side lately.  I have some pretty serious scar build up through my armpit and down my arm.  It feels like a really thick guitar string.  I’m also a lot more sore on my side than I have been.  I’m very much looking forward to working out with my physical therapist tomorrow, hoping she can show me some good exercises/stretches to help with this pain.  I did remind myself this morning that it’s better than having a bunch of cancer tumors. I’ll take scarring pains over tumors any day.

Other than that, I’m looking forward to a full week of relaxing.  I’m going to go wig shopping at some point this week.  Gotta get a few wigs on tap for when chemo starts.  I want to get one wig in a completely different color than my current hair color.  What do you think?  Blonde, red, pink?

I’m missing Starbucks today. i know, crazy to say I miss work. But I miss seeing all my work friends and I really love my new job. I had a good talk with my mom this morning about it. I was saying how I miss working and she reminded me that I need to be resting and gaining my strength for the fight ahead (chemo). It’s hard for me to relax and know the biggest activity I have is picking up Desmond or going to a movie. But my mom is right, chemo is going to kick my butt so I need to be strong and rested to take it on.

But…just because I’m feeling sentimental…here are some of the things I’m missing about Starbucks:

1. My new job and work family and planning events
2. Amy’s shoes
3. Taste tests with Chris
4. Saying “hi Brendan!!” as loud as possible
5. My favorite barista at SODO8 (and his awesome ‘fro)
6. Daily campaign meeting (the best way to get the news headlines)
7. Lunch trucks and peanut butter cupcakes

Anyway, I’ll be back soon enough, but I guess there’s a reason I’ve been at the ‘Bux for 12 years, it’s like my home away from home.  Miss you all, Starbucks friends! xo

Sorry for my silence on the blog-front. I’ve been pretty inactive on email as well. I decided to have a “cancer-free” weekend and not talk or think much about the dreaded C. I ended up having a perfectly relaxing weekend. Saw “Bridesmaids” with Erin & Colleen (absolutely hysterical!), hung out at Kim & Bob’s with Desmond, went on a great date night with Brian, and basically thumbed my nose at cancer for 4 days.

But I’m back to concentrate on my treatment and keep you all informed. I signed up for physical therapy today (had to see the doc this morn to get the final plan), read up on my chemo treatment and what to expect, and joined the “Young Survivor Coalition”. I’ve been looking at some images of post-mastectomies and reconstruction. The thought of reconstruction at this point is completely overwhelming. It’s 2 more surgeries and about a 10 month total process. But I wouldn’t even start until next year, so I need to just table all that thinking for the moment. Although I am wildly tempted to get a big ole tattoo across my right chest. Like a phoenix or something. What are your thoughts?

I have decided I’m going to post a photo of my new silhouette this week. Of course with a tank top on…but just to share with you my altered state. So you have that to look forward to. 😉

Other than that I’m still getting daily cards, gifts and meals from all of you wonderful, amazing friends (thanks for the tortellini bake, Kathleen and the real Jewish soup, Julie!!). Many more blog entries to follow this week. xo

I had a VERY good doctor appointment yesterday. It was a follow up appointment with my awesome surgeon, Dr. Christine Lee. She said everything was healing up perfectly (more about that below) and that the pathology report on the tumor and lymph nodes was VERY encouraging. Basically the tumor was exactly what they had suspected (size, stage, etc) and that she removed all traces of the tumor and surrounding margins. Even more exciting, she removed 12 lymph nodes and only ONE had cancer! So the best news of all is she doesn’t think I’ll need radiation. yeah! We’ll find out for sure on Thursday when we meet with my Oncologist, but that would be a huge win for my treatment plan (but yes, I’ll still need chemo).

I haven’t really talked about how I’m dealing with being a bit “lopsided” now. I’m not going to lie, it’s a bit shocking to see my body so altered. The first thought that popped into my head was “amputated”. eek. But I’m slowly getting used to the shock of such a flat area. And the incision is nicely covered up with a small bandage, so I don’t have to deal with the scar yet. I am spectacularly bruised up all over…and i’m kind of proud of those bruises. I look bad ass. 😉

Anyway, my spirits are still high and as soon as Desmond goes back to daycare I’ll be able to really start to rest and recover. The treats and meals continue to be a daily inspiration (kindle gift cert from Ken Kido, nordstrom gift cert from Andrea in Germany, cupcakes and flowers from Bonnie in Italy, meals from Jill Farley and Jen). And Kim and Erin have been on nurse duty this week (a huge help with Desmond being home too). Thank you all so very, very much!

And check out the recipe below. Best salad I’ve ever eaten in my life. seriously.
xo

p.s. I know Brian’s food preference page makes it very intimidating to cook for me. I appreciate how thorough it is, but really I’m not THAT picky. 😉 One of my besties, Jen, is going to post some recipes and food ideas. She’s a nutritionist at Seattle Cancer Care…so she’s literally an expert. So look for that soon. Thank you, friends!! xoxo

Hi friends. Well today was a day for some odd symptoms from surgery. The past few days I’ve had difficulty taking any deep breaths. Then today I noticed I wasn’t able to see clearly. Kim was on duty today (Erin was babysitting me yesterday) and noticed I looked “odd”. She finally figured out that my eyes were really dilated! I talked to the nurse and the breathing difficulty was because I wasn’t taking any pain medication (I guess taking pain pills helps with tension in the chest). The biggest oddity was my dilated eyes…and that was caused by my anti-nausea patch behind my ear. I took it off today and must have rubbed my eyes, which causes them to dilate. who knew?

I’ve been so spoiled the last few days. Erin and Kim bringing me coffees and watching over me. Victoria Roberts brought over macncheese (and crab mac n cheese!). June Ashley sent Colleen home with homemade chicken noodle soup, mac-n-cheese and cookie dough! And Laura (Moix) Varma just came over bearing lasagna, mac-n-cheese, salad, biscotti and magazines. And a bunch of my wonderful work friends (Hana, Sally, Teresa, Stacy and Sasha) got me a subscription to People. AND I received a gorgeous bouquet from Adrian Sims and my twin (Jen) made me brownies. And of course Colleen has been at my beck and call every night and arranging things during the day. Um, you all are making this cancer thing down right enjoyable!

I cheated and picked up Desmond (with my left arm!) today – it was REAL nice to get a nice cuddle from my sweet little guy. Hope you all are enjoying the start of the weekend.
xoxo